Grief is a natural process but it can be devastating. Most people will cope with help and support from family and friends. For those who need additional help, Cruse offers free confidential support for adults, children and young people.
Support can be given by telephone, email or face-to-face.
– Feel shocked, numb, guilty, afraid and full of pain?
– These feelings are not unnatural or wrong.
– Every person’s experience of grief is unique.
Contact Your Local Cruse Office
'What people tell us'
After a death you may initially feel shocked, numb, guilty, afraid and full of pain. These feelings may change to feelings of longing, sadness, loneliness – even hopelessness and fear about the future. They are all ‘normal’ reactions to what may be the most difficult experience of your life. Over time these feelings should lessen. But these are some of the things people often say when they come to use for help following a bereavement.
'I don’t feel anything. I feel numb'
What people tell us
the shock can make you feel numb. This is a way of managing the pain and loss and can help you through the early days when there is so much to do.
'I feel out of control. My emotions are all over the place'
What people tell us One minute I’m ok, the next minute I’m in tears’ – mood swings can be very frightening but they are normal.
'I can’t eat or sleep'
What people tell us Physical reactions to a death are very common.
'I keep hearing his voice. I’m worried that I’m going mad'
What people tell us It may take some time to grasp what has happened. It can often happen when you least expect it, as if your mind has temporarily ‘forgotten’ that they have died.
'I feel such pain. I keep thinking again and again about what happened'
What people tell us I keep going over every detail of her last few days’ – a common reaction, particularly where the death was sudden and unexpected, or occurred in traumatic circumstances.
'I feel so guilty'
What people tell us It’s important to try to focus on the good times, and not to dwell on things in the past that you cannot change.